Puppy Showers

Since I haven’t posted in about a decade, I will continue to shirk my blogger responsibilities and direct you to my Nashville roommate Annie’s blog for this awesome post.

Click here for hilarity.

Yokes, folks.

As I was studying for my graphic design history test today [Yes, 'rents. Studying.], I was reminded of yokes. Long train of thought to get there, but I got there. Then I remembered something a guy I met in Nashville said about the verse “do not be yoked with nonbelievers.” He said that you shouldn’t be friends with them, only acquaintances, and that you shouldn’t get heavily involved with them or you run the risk of your faith suffering because of their nonbelief. I immediately had a problem with this, but I had nothing to say. As per usual with arguments I’m in or around, I always think of a reply much later than should be humanly possible. I mean, this conversation happened in June. But were that conversation to happen again, I got it.

First off, I should say I don’t read the Bible as a literal translation of everything that happened. Apart from the historical facts within, I think there’s a fair amount in the Bible we should read into and interpret meaning. This verse (2 Corinthians 6:14, for the record) is one of the verses I think we should spend a little more time on.

Because a person does not follow Jesus does not negate their value. No matter how great or deplorable the person is, God made them and therefore value exists within them. Even if you have to dig. It’s there. So no person on this earth is unworthy of someone getting to know them.

I see “yoke” as the weight or consequence of following someone. In Matthew 11:30 Jesus says, “my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Being yoked with someone means you are carrying the same thing and following the same path. So following Jesus has one yoke, which is light, and not following Him has another, which isn’t. So the Corinthians verse about not being yoked with nonbelievers only means don’t believe what they believe and don’t follow what they follow. Just don’t head in the same spiritual direction as someone who doesn’t know the Lord. You know the Truth, so follow that. Carry that yoke.

And isn’t one of the purposes of Christianity to spread it? How could you spread anything by staying in the tight-knit Christian circle you’re already in? That doesn’t do anything for anyone, including the Christian. [Don't get me started on the amount of Christians who aren't well-adjusted. I can't take it.] Not to say going in to every relationship with the mission of conversion is a good idea. That also gets nothing accomplished and will probably just annoy or offend everyone involved. Just be a normal human, and be a friend. It’s so worth it. Regardless of people’s beliefs.

Thoughts? Questions? Arguments and discussion? I’m open.

People Who Are Stupid

I love them. There is a special place in my heart for people who are wasting space on this Earth and have no clue. Exhibit A:

Give up, Heidi.

Heidi is certainly not at the tope of my dumb celebrities list. Others include, but are not limited to, Perez Hilton, Britney Spears, Jesse McCartney, any of the Backstreet Boys when trying to make a comeback, Megan Fox, and any of the Twilight kids [with the exception of Taylor Lautner, as he has proven to be the only one with a personality. YouTube "New Moon MTV Movie Awards."]

And then there are the most awesome of all, the ones who play dumb for comedic purpose. For instance…

Or any Dave Barnes video.

Dumb people are fun. And are put here for us to completely obliterate with snarky humor enjoy.

Who are some of your favorite dumb people?

Things I’ve Learned from Project Runway

• I don’t know what high fashion is, and I don’t care. I wear what I want, Heidi! Callie apparently does know, though. I don’t know where she gets all this time.
• Making outfits [Excuse me. Garments.] out of newsprint didn’t turn out as awesome as the duct tape prom dresses from more awesome schools than I went to.
• Tim Gunn’s accent is impossible to recreate, though it will not keep me from trying.
• Heidi’s accent, however, is completely doable but is not quite as funny out of context. Awkward. [LUKAHS FRAHM SVITZALAHND!]
• Heidi is unnecessary. TIM GUNN FOR HOST 2010!
• Project Runway is terrible at hiring guest hosts. Lindsay Lohan?! So when’s Paula gonna be on?
• Christopher is wonderful, and the only thing worth watching this season. [Though there will never be another Nick.]
• Models of the Runway is the best show ever created. I almost don’t need PRoject Runway.

Weblog Wednesday…uh…Reblog Rednesday? Well. You get the idea.

You see, Lev Grossman is hilarious. (If you don’t know who I’m talking about, go here.) I read his blog, I follow him on Twitter, and I want to be his best friend. Go forth and love him.

This post doubles as another Official Excitement Alert: WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER.

SO WHO’S COMING WITH ME?!

—–

Universal Releases Details of Harry Potter-Land

Posted by LEV GROSSMAN Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 4:31 pm

It’s not really called that. It’s called “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.” I don’t know how to feel about it.

Even leaving aside the odious press-release-ese (TWWoHP “brings the stories of Harry Potter to life in a way never before imagined”? Don’t tell me what I have or haven’t imagined you bezoar-eating shill) there’s no way I can get past the fact that I like books and not theme parks and don’t see any earthly need for the latter.

Does that make me a sour middle-aged Harry Potter fan? Whatever, don’t answer that. Here’s the list of “attractions”:

At the entrance of Hogsmeade, billowing steam and an iconic whistle signal the arrival of the Hogwarts Express into Hogsmeade station

Across the way is Zonko’s, a joke shop with a collection of tricks and jokes, including Extendable Ears, Boxing Telescopes and Sneakoscopes

Honeydukes is next door and full of treats like Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour Beans

The Three Broomsticks and adjacent Hog’s Head pub will feature traditional British fare and drinks including Butterbeer and pumpkin juice

Across from the Three Broomsticks is The Owlery, where owls roost and await their next delivery

The Owl Post sends letters with a certified Hogsmeade postmark and sells official stamps from The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Ollivanders wand shop is an incredible interactive experience where the wand chooses the wizard

Completing Hogsmeade is Dervish and Banges, the magical instruments and equipment shop featuring Quidditch equipment, Triwizard apparel, Spectrespecs and Remembralls

The first attraction, Dragon Challenge, features a twin high-speed roller coaster with many iconic elements from the Triwizard Tournament

Next is Flight of the Hippogriff, a family coaster simulating a Hippogriff training flight over the grounds of Hogwarts castle

Located in Hogwarts castle, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey is a thrilling new state-of-the-art attraction that uses entirely new technology to bring the magic, characters and stories of Harry Potter to life in ways never before experienced

Before exiting back into Hogsmeade, Filch’s Emporium of Confiscated Goods is full of Ministry of Magic and magical creatures merchandise, Omnioculars, and even remote control Golden Snitches

Now obvs Ollivander’s is not in Hogsmeade, but that’s not even the point. The point is, Harry Potter is a series of fantasy novels, not a mechanism for delivering over-priced, made-in-China remote-control Snitches into the hands of sugar-crazed pre-teens.

Is there ever a bad time to quote Christian Slater in Pump Up the Volume? (Don’t answer that either.) “All the great themes have been used up and turned into theme parks.”

Ten Things I Want For My Birthday in No Particular Order

It’s October 3rd. Which has come to my attention as not that far away. Feel free to print this list and take it with you to the store.

1. an Ibanez AEL10AE. Acoustic-electric guitar time! I must be a Jefferson. (Sorry. That was weak.) And while, I would love a black Martin, I settle for my parents’ checkbooks sake. This Ibanez sounds awesome, has a decent amount of depth in sound, and is half the price of a Martin.
2. Mario vs. Sonic: Olympic Games for Wii. Wii’ve become addicted.
3. Repotting Harry Potter. It explains the ins and outs you may have missed the first time reading. Harry Potter for the re-reader (and undoubtedly DVD commentary watcher) in all of us.
4. The Deathly Hallows Lectures. An in-depth look at the last book of the series. Can you tell I unashamedly love HP more than anything else in life?
5. a laser printer with a scanner/copier. I’m tired of being a burden. I need my own printer. It’s getting awkward. Also, laser is very important. No inkjet.
6. Wacom Intuos4 Large Pen Tablet. So I don’t have to draw things and scan them in. I can just be lazy and draw them into my computer. (Yes, it would almost render the scanner element in the printer useless. But only almost. I would still need the scanner more often though. I’ve thought this through.)
7. Maybe I want a Kindle. But maybe I don’t. I’ve gone back and forth on this for so long. There’s something so satisfying about chugging your way through a physical book. And in large quantities, they make bookcases look awesome. But there’s something really nice about the idea of having all my books in one thin machine in my bag. And buying them for only $9.99.
8. CSI:NY Season Five. I don’t think I need to say anymore about this. Other than that if you don’t appreciate this show, I’m not sure we can continue being friends or family members.
9. How I Met Your Mother Season Four. Hilarity ensues.
10. The rest of the Harry Potter movies. I only have the first three, and I can’t even find the first one. Or maybe it’s the second one I lost. It’s complicated.

For the budgeted reader, these gifts will also be accepted at Christmas. Thank you for your time.

I’m nothing if not shameless.

Official Excitement Notice: Thanksoween

As I procrastinated in the grocery store carefully selected my groceries today in the Pubs with Erin, I saw this magazine for Halloween. It was one of those lame “I’m 40 and uncreative so I need a magazine to tell me how to strategically and hideously place black and orange together for an irrelevant holiday” magazine with some kid in a pirate costume on it. But it reminded me. Of THANKSOWEEN.

I started Thanksoween last year because none of the roommates were going to be in town for Halloween as it fell on fall break. Since we made Thanksgiving dinner the year before, I decided to blend the holidays together and make one awesome day of more creativity and intense excitement (on my part) than anyone would care to stand. THANKSOWEEN. Thanksoween is celebrated near or on Thanksgiving, merging the tradition of cooking a holiday feast of goodness with ridiculous costumes and general Halloween hilarity. So I hope you keep your costumes from All Hallow’s Eve and employ Thanksoween in your home. I’m sure it will become a national holiday in no time at all. I’m texting Barack about it now.

“What is love…baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more…”

Name that song! Should be pretty easy. (Intern!) Partial credit will be awarded for naming the famous-ish movie it was featured in.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of love. I know you’re thinking “Lane that is ridiculous. We just talked to you and you are super stressed out with school and overreacting as usual, so how could you have time to ponder a such a deep notion as this?” Probably. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really know what it is.

Do I love people? Isn’t love supposed to be more overwhelming than this? (We can agree on “whelming” at the very least.) I mean…I like people. I like some people quite a bit. Some I could do without, but that is another story and another blog post. But I don’t miss people. I don’t need someone around me. It’s fine that I don’t see my friends from home or parents a lot. I can talk to them on the phone, should I get the urge, and that’s about the same. The same goes for the Lord. I follow Him because it’s right and logical. I know without a doubt He exists because of an experience I had at Bethel Church last March. And I know that my life generally turns out better if I listen to Him and let Him be the boss of me. But I can’t say “love.” Even to Him. Something seems wrong about it all. (Especially when people start talking about the Lord as your lover and all that hullaballoo. It freaks me out.)

After talking with Callie about it last night, I’ve decided it’s because of my green-ness. (Per the Color Test that’s been floating around the Wes. Greens like facts and ideas, etc. It’s my dominant color.) Callie’s green too. (More green than me though. She reads textbooks for fun. I watch Real Housewives of Atlanta.)

Basically every time I get more than one prophetic word from someone, one will be along the lines of “you are different. Don’t be afraid of that. You’re just really unique.” Which I never thought so much about until I got that word EVERY FREAKIN’ TIME. And then it made me self-conscious. But maybe it’s just how I’m wired. Not that I am incapable of love, but that love will look different for me. Since apparently I am wired completely differently than anyone else on the planet. I don’t have strong emotions. The only thing close to an emotion I have is overwhelmed. I get that way pretty easily, then I just cry. It’s weird. But it happens. Sometimes in front of complete strangers. But what are ya gonna do?

Thoughts?

Well, hello there.

I’m back! And so is Oliver! That’s my computer, for those of you who don’t know. He left my life for a little while to be fixed, but now he is in full working condition and back in my possession! (Is is weird that I’m talking about a computer like it’s a real person? I mean, I do see Oliver more than anybody else. We’re BFFs.)

Let’s just say that I’ve seen my fair share of 316 in Oliver’s sickliness, and I’m glad it’s over with. Now I can get back to my thousands of homework assignments. Did I mention that school was starting? Yes. It has. And boy howdy, I don’t know if I’ll make it out alive. I’ve honestly never been this busy ever in my life. And yes, I would rather be doing graphic design homework than anything else, but it doesn’t mean I want to spend all my waking (and some of my sleeping) hours on it. I would like some free time, if that’s convenient for you, school.

To cut down on my levels of insanity, and to actually do something for the Lord in all my busyness, I’ve decided to start observing a Sabbath. It’s Saturdays. They’ve talked to the staff at Wesley a lot about it, and Intern (Sarah) has passed it on to me. God rested on the Sabbath, Jesus rested on the Sabbath, so we should too. We all need a break from what we’re doing. It clears our minds and helps us not hate life so much. So far, it has just stressed me out. But I’m working on how to make it more Jesus-centered so true rest occurs and I get something from it. I love not doing anything for a day, but on the other hand, I have a lot to do. (No worries, ‘rents, Sunday’s my work day.) So, like everything with the Lord, it’s a process. I’m still working out the balance between doing nothing for rest vs. the real purpose of a Sabbath. I’ll keep you posted. Pun intended.

BRB

I’m at the beach for another week with less than zero amounts of competent internet.

Enjoy your vacation from my ridiculous ramblings.